


talk is cheap

by smolblueberry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Anxiety, M/M, Sad Backstory, Suicide mentions, Volleyball, so many books, who knows man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-17 18:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5881291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolblueberry/pseuds/smolblueberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei lived in a bubble and that's all he wanted.<br/>He didn't want friends, he didn't want to talk to people. He just wanted to be alone with books and his music.<br/>Of course working at a book store isn't going to help that situation especially when the freckled kid in his class constantly visits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The day he met him

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything Tsukkiyama based and I've been wanting to for quite a while, so here it goes!
> 
> P.S. My tags are pretty wonky, but I'll fix those up as the story progresses (:

He lived in his own little bubble doing whatever he pleased. Read, study, listen to music, even sometimes play volleyball. Anything to keep himself busy. He only had one friend, but he had moved away from where they lived so he rarely even saw her anymore and if he did it was for a very short amount of time.

He really enjoyed his personal bubble. No one talked to him so he was left alone in a peaceful state. If anyone tried to talk to him, well that never ended well. The social anxiety got to him easily and it wasn’t really fun to deal with. 

It was when he convinced himself to get a job that he began to branch out little by little, but it wasn’t like he made friends with the customers at the small book shop he was hired at. 

All that mattered to him was that he was at least talking to humans and not stuck in his bubble as often. Hey, his mom and elder brother were even glad that he was communicating with people again. 

The small bell rang at the entrance of the book shop signaling that someone walked in. He didn’t look up, just kept organizing the books. A small voice called out from the entrance as well, a small “Welcome!”

That small voice came from the owner of the small shop. She was a kind lady, around her early forties who loved books with a passion. Tsukishima knew that if he were to ever visit her home there would most likely be books covering every single wall, no room for family portraits or other sweet homely decors just piles and stacks of different stories.

Usually it’d get quiet once someone walked in. They’d be searching for a book that looked good enough to buy or look for something specific, but this was different. There was actual conversation being involved between the owner of the shop and the shopper. 

“Oh Tadashi, nice to see you again!” She was obviously a mother, her tone was reassuring and nice to listen to, a child could easily fall asleep at the sound of that voice telling a bedtime story. That’s how Tsukishima knew that she was a mother to who knows how many children. “It’s been too long since you’ve stopped by, did you find another book store to shop at?”

“No, no, no! I’ve just been busy with volleyball practices, I can barely even study for my classes anymore.” An awkward chuckle came from the male. His voice wasn’t exactly high, but it definitely didn’t sound so deep either. Obviously a high school student though. 

Tsukishima decided to just tone out the conversation by placing his ear buds in his ears. The misses let him listen to music while working sometimes, which was a huge plus side for the blonde. What other job would allow him to do something like that? Definitely not one he knew about. 

He began to hum as he placed the freshly delivered books in their rightful place. Once and a while the teenager would read the back if the cover looked interesting enough. He always got first pick on the new books, yet another positive to his new job. As he tucked a book in his own hidden area to pick up and pay for later a tap was felt on his shoulder. 

He took off one of his ear buds and turned around, not looking exactly pleased but he tried his best to keep a nice aura around him so he wouldn’t scare customers. When he saw who he turned to he didn’t want to try to look worthy though. 

It was the kid in his class. No wonder the voice sounded so familiar and the name. 

_‘How did I not know?’_

He had quite the innocent smile, seeming almost nervous. If anyone should’ve been nervous it should be Tsukishima. He didn’t enjoy talking to people from his school let alone his actual class. 

“Tsukishima Kei right?” Is that the only reason he had come up to him? To be absolutely positive that the person who worked at the bookstore was the quiet kid in class who sat in the back of the class? Or did he want a book? He could’ve just asked the owner who he happened to know well enough. 

“Yeah, that’s me. Did you want something?” He continued to organize the books. If it were someone he didn’t know then maybe he’d be a tad bit nicer, just a tad, but this was someone who sat chairs away from him five days a week. 

“Oh, ah.. Well I’ve been looking for this book, but I can probably find it on my own I just knew you looked familiar.” 

_‘So he did just want to be made sure of. What a waste of time.’_

Tsukishima didn’t waste another breath to respond to the shorter male, just kept organizing. Of course after that long moment of silence, Tadashi went along to look for his book without another word. 

He was still in the same aisle as the blonde which just made him more uncomfortable. He could feel his glances, it was far too obvious not to feel the constant looks and stares. He sighed in defeat. If Tadashi was going to keep staring then might as well start some kind of conversation to make things less awkward. 

“So you’re in volleyball?” He didn’t sound too intrigued, but it was for the sake that Tadashi would maybe leave faster. “Yeah, but I’m not a regular on the team. I’m a pinch server. They’re us-“ 

“I know what a pinch server is. I play sometimes and my brother was on the team when he was in high school.” Bringing up his brother was pointless. Why did he even do that? That subject was always off limits no matter what, even when his own brother brought it up randomly Kei did not want to talk about it. 

“Why don’t you join the team?” 

_‘Because there is no point. It’s a waste.’_

“It’s not something I’m exactly motivated to do.”

Tadashi seemed to be concealing a laugh, a book in his hands. The spine didn’t have the title of the book he stated he was looking for before, so why had he reached for it? 

“You should really join, it’s pretty fun and.. interesting.” 

Kei sighed, still not very interested in the conversation and joining volleyball. As much as everyone wanted him to join the team because of his height, he’d never do it. 

“No thanks.”   
He reached for the next book, reading the back before reading the title. 

Tadashi’s eyes widened when his eyes landed on the spine of the book “That’s the book! I- ah.. do you think I could take it? I mean unless you wanted it then go right ahead.” Kei looked at the timid male.

How could a male like him be on the volleyball team? He seemed too dainty and sweet to play. He’d most likely get crushed in a game with other possible much more experienced people on the court. No wonder he was only a pinch server. Then again Kei felt just a little bad for him. 

“No, you can have it.” His same old monotone voice was evident throughout the store no matter how quiet his voice was. That was one of his many curses, not being able to make his voice quiet enough. 

Tadashi looked pretty glad and relieved when Kei handed him to book “Thanks. I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow Tsukki!” The little ball of warmth went straight to the cash register after that. Didn’t even fix his mistake in calling him Tsukki. 

When was the last time Kei was even called Tsukki? By his lovely little friend, Asami? God, the blonde could practically hear her little voice again. Last time they saw each other they were around the age of thirteen. Her voice was the same, small and adorable and her hair no longer in pig tails but by the time styled in a small messy ponytail she most likely made herself. 

Kei’s mind wandered off. What was she like then? Did she still put her hair up in those messy messy ponytails or keep it down so it could flow along the wind? What if she had cut her hair to be short? Was her voice as fragile as before? The questions made Kei smile. She was probably a whole new human being. 

“Okay, bye sweetie!” His train of thought gone as goodbyes were exchanged between the misses and Tadashi. 

_‘Forgot to tell him not to call me Tsukki..’_

Kei didn’t know why he hated the nickname. Though it could’ve been because of good and bad memories that he just didn’t want to rethink about. Those were the worst of times, when tears would start to fill his eyes and he could just barely breathe because sometimes he wished he could go back to those simple days when he had no troubles.

* * *

 

“Don’t forget your lunch Kei.” Reassurance passed through him at the voice he heard. His mother, just woken up. 

She always woke up a tad bit late being it was a daily struggle for her to wake up at the time her alarm went off, just like a teenager would. She was strange at moments, but either way both her children loved her. 

“Thanks mom, don’t be late for work.” He took ahold of the packed lunch from the counter. Honestly Kei had no idea why she still made the lunches the night before school like she did when he was going to elementary and middle school, but he didn’t mind it at all since he had food to eat. 

He pulled on his headphones, clicked play on his phone and began to walk to school in his normal route, humming along to the song that rang in his ears. Nothing to distract him from his peaceful moment just like always. 

At least he thought there would be no distractions. There should never be distractions. He did run into Yamaguchi Tadashi just the day before though and whoever thought they took the same exact route to school. 

“Tsukki!” 

The headphones were pulled off.

_‘Again with the nickname.’_

“Please don’t call me that.” 

“But it’s much easier to say than Tsukishima.” The voice was exactly like Asami’s, it just wasn’t feminine. 

“Why are you talking to me?”

Tadashi’s face didn’t fall into a frown like Kei expected it to. That wasn’t supposed to happen. 

“Why not.” 

The little girl came back to mind. The pigtails, innocent smile, and the adorable clothes she wore. 

Those were the exact words she said when they had met too. 

Tsukishima Kei sighed. It was déjà vu. 

_‘I should really message her soon.’_

“Compelling argument.” Sarcasm evident to his voice as he kept walking at his own pace, it wasn’t the fastest because he knew he had time to get to school and if he didn’t well oh well. He’d make himself late. 

Tadashi kept quiet after that, his grin still plastered onto his face like the two had been friends for ages and it was normal to walk with a complete stranger. If the freckled male thought they were friends, well he was wrong in Kei’s book. 

During their walk in silence, Tadashi began to hum. At first it was so unfamiliar to Kei’s ears but soon enough he knew the exact song that was being heard. It was a song he had listened to, wasn’t from his favorite band and it wasn’t his favorite song but Tadashi had a good taste in music if he listened to bands like sleeping at last.

“How do you know Miss Yachi?” The owner of the bookstore. He didn’t really know her first name and not wanting to be rude, never really bothered to ask. “She’s my friends’ aunt, but I’ve been visiting the store longer than I’ve known my friend.” He stopped there not wanting to bore Kei with the long story on how Hitoka Yachi became his best friend. 

A simple nod was his response, just like usual. 

At that time if his mom, older brother, or even Asami were there they’d say something like “You have a mouth for a reason don’t you Kei?” But none of them were there to scold him about it so he was free to do as he pleased. Unless of course Tadashi decided to say something about it, but he seemed too timid to bring something like that up. 

“I find you interesting, so quiet in class and always so stone faced, even your voice is pretty monotonous. So cool..” The last part was a mumble, barely loud enough for Kei to hear.

When he finally got to make up the last part of the statement he wanted to laugh so loud. It was a total lie. 

_'Me, cool? That’s lame. I’m not cool at all.'_

All he really was to the world was another kid with anxiety issues who wanted to stray away from human interaction, but it was people like Yamaguchi Tadashi who decide to ruin that peacefulness for him. Why? If Kei knew he would’ve been a miracle worker. 

“I don’t know why you find me cool. I don’t know why you feel the need to talk to me. If it was a dare I really need you to stop because I’m not cool and I don’t like talking to people. And don’t you dare use the whole ‘I can change the fact that you don’t enjoy talking to people’ because it just won’t work okay? I want to be left alone listening to music and my own thoughts. I don’t need people to help me, I’m perfectly stable.” 

That was probably the most Kei has ever said since he was 11. It was a new record, if only his mom was there to hear how much he spoke at once. It’d make her extremely happy. 

He took an intake of the cold air and went back to his lone quiet self, hoping that that made the kid want to leave him alone and if it didn’t then his awkwardness was make him go away. Another hope. 

“You can’t go on forever without interaction, it’s important to living. I think you just need a little push to help you get along. I know you’re stable too, this isn’t a dare, and I don’t plan on leaving you soon Tsukki.” 

_'Who the hell is this?'_

“Don’t call me Tsukki.” 

The school was just up ahead, the gates weren’t even close to closing meaning that Kei made it on time for once in his life. 

Nice. 

It also meant that he’d be away from Tadashi seeming that he had his own friends on the volleyball team and of course his best friend Yachi. 

Kei was correct. As soon as they entered the school gates, Tadashi left with a little over enthusiastic “Bye! I’ll see you in class.” And he was gone. 

The blonde took that as a chance to be alone and listen to his music in the quiet, empty classroom and message Asami for the first time in months. Maybe even a year. He didn’t bother keeping track.

_Hey Asami. Been a long time, I hope you’re okay._

He wasn’t expecting a response. He left her all alone and never bothered messaging her unless something really reminded him of her cheerful self, she wouldn’t want to answer to an awful friend like that. Oh well. At least he tried. 

His mind started to wander off. All he could really think of was his schedule for that day. It was his normal schedule that never changed. 

School. 

Work. 

Go home and eat dinner. 

Study. 

Breathe. 

Sleep. 

Then the process would just start all over again. 

That’s how it was every day for about a month then. 

What Kei didn’t keep in mind was that he may have made a new friend who would possibly switch up his schedule just a tiny bit, but that just didn’t cross the quiet blondes mind. 

He didn’t expect his schedule to change in the least.


	2. Then there was another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I can't promise you that this chapter is interesting, but I swear after this one things will be better.
> 
> WARNING: suicide mention and a couple other things!

Kei could remember the day clearly. 

It was his birthday, he was turning ten years old. The big 10. Asami was more excited about the occasion than Kei was as he just saw it as any normal day that passed on. Birthdays were just pointless to him. 

The bell rang, everyone was sitting in class chatting away like usual. Asami excitedly spoke practically leaning over the table with that wide smile of hers evident to the whole class. “I can’t wait to take your present to you after school! I know you’ll love it!” Kei didn’t bother asking what it was, though he had to admit that he was curious. 

The teacher walked in, quieting everyone. 

It was supposed to be another normal day, with some special cake for dessert that night. 

Kei was supposed to go home and find balloons all over the house that read cheesy things, something his mom always did no matter the complaints. 

Plans changed when the classroom phone rang. 

Everyone watched in anticipation because when the classroom phone rang it always meant that a lucky someone was going home. That lucky someone happened to be Tsukishima Kei, but it definitely wasn’t because it was his birthday. 

The teachers tone was strained and her usually rosy face became pale, like a ghost was standing right in front of her.

“Kei, will you please hurry to the front office.. Family emergencies.” He didn’t like hearing that. It hurt his hears. What kind of family emergency could occur? 

He was supposed to be having a normal day. Sure he was turning 10, but other than that it was supposed to be normal. Asami jumping everywhere, kids chattering while lessons were being taught, the occasional scolding from the teacher. Why couldn’t he just have that sweet normal day? 

“Kei. Front office please.” It sounded like she didn’t want to say it again. Like she wanted to forget whatever she heard over the phone. 

Kei gave her the satisfaction and packed all of his things, not saying a word as other kids stared at the poor kid. Asami would give him worried looks and mumbled small things that she’d hoped made him feel better. 

“It’s probably just a surprise.” 

“I’m sure it’s nothing bad” 

“What if they bought you a dinosaur!” 

That last one was absolutely insane, but it did make Kei feel at least a little bit better.

He walked out of the classroom, straight faced with his heart beating rapidly. 

His mom waited for him in the front office. Bags under her eyes, tear stains evident on her dry skin, and the most comforting smile Kei could ever receive.

Something happened and it sure as hell wasn’t a surprise or a dinosaur. 

“C’mon sweetie.” 

The small child obeyed and followed his lovely mother who took care of two kids all by herself. She sure was a hero in Kei’s eyes. 

“What happened?” 

“Akiteru isn’t feeling well. His stomach was hurting.. a lot this morning.” 

“Is he in the hospital?” 

No response. Just a small choke that turned into tears streaming down his beautiful mothers face. She never cried. She was a strong person who could overcome any obstacle for her children. At least that’s how Kei saw her. 

Kei learned when they were at the hospital that it was a suicide attempt. 

He was just too young to understand what that was though.

* * *

 

  
His phone vibrated in his hand when he began to walk to the small bookstore. 

When he looked at who was messaging him he stopped in his tracks momentarily. 

It had taken her a whole school day to respond and Kei could very easily think of many reasons why it took her that long. 

_Tsukishima Kei! You never message me anymore, how mean! :(_

She really did never change. 

At least over text. 

He texted back immediately no matter how clingy it looked. He didn’t care. Kei missed her and wanted to talk to her and if it meant looking like some clingy old best friend well so be it. 

_I’ve been busy. I have a job now, so it’s been hectic around here._

Then he began to walk again. Humming the melody of one of his old favorite songs. It was just one of those nostalgic days for him, where he messaged his old best friend, listened to his old favorite music and felt kinda happy again. 

Keyword, **_kinda_**. 

The nostalgia went away when he put his earphones away in his pockets and walked into the bookstore with the small bell signaling that he had arrived and a little early at that too. 

“Good Afternoon Kei!” 

“Good afternoon miss.” 

The small petite lady put her book down and smiled up at Kei expecting a little more from him, like always. 

She was just like his mom. Expecting more words to come out of his mouth like a waterfall. 

“You’re here early, why don’t you sit down and begin homework if you have any.” 

Kei gladly took this offer and sat down at one of the many tables the store had contained. He took out his notes and the homework that was assigned, but of course before he could begin to do his homework he had to check his phone. Which had vibrated twice. 

_YOU GOT A JOB!_

Message number 1.

 _My small Tsukki is growing up :’)_

Message number 2. 

His thumbs typed away. 

_Anyway. How are you? It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other. Have things changed?_

Then Kei brought out all of the things he needed to start doing some work. 

Usually it was pretty easy to just start doing homework and studying, just put on earphones and block everyone out (Until it was time to work), but that day was different. 

He couldn’t get what happened at school out of his mind. 

Kei thought after the walk to school with Tadashi, he’d leave him alone for the day but that just wouldn’t do for the freckled male. Apparently he needed more interaction or he thought that Kei needed more interaction even if he believed himself that he did not.

It’d be lunch and Tadashi came over to his desk and sat down next to him, without asking his permission. 

Honestly it made Kei nervous and not because he wanted to impress Tadashi. That was the least of his worries. He just didn’t like people so close to him, he didn’t want to talk to anyone because it made him panic slightly on the inside even if he didn’t show it on the outside. 

Lunch wasn’t the only time Tadashi tried to talk to him, it was multiple times and it wasn’t fun. 

Why couldn’t he understand that Kei wanted to be alone. 

He put his pencil down and laid his head on his hands. 

The jitteriness was getting to him and he didn’t know what to do, so he took deep and steady breaths hoping that it would work. Praying that he wouldn’t cause a scene in front of Miss Yachi and worry her.

She’d probably just tell him to go home, but Kei was determined to work.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder and that wasn’t helping so he pushed it away not even caring if it was his boss or a customer. 

He didn’t want anyone touching him. 

The blonde got up from his chair “I’m gonna go out for a breather.” He announced and left the building quickly. 

Someone followed behind very slowly. 

It was the person who had tried to help him. 

Kei leaned on a wall still trying to steady his breathing. His heart rate was increasing and he wasn’t feeling any better at all. 

When he looked in front of him, there was a small blonde looking worried. 

She was wearing the girls’ uniform from his school and the first year color tie, but she didn’t look familiar. 

“Are you okay mister?” She sounded concerned for a stranger and yet Kei wanted her to go away. 

He’d never learn to appreciate the company of another human being and it sucked that he knew that. A human beings touch would never make him happy or content, it just wouldn’t. 

Kei felt like he didn’t have enough air in his lungs to answer the question so he shook his head and began to wave her off, as rude as it seemed. 

The female seemed as persistent as Tadashi and stood her place, searching in her school bag for something. Kei had no idea if it was supposed to be for him or if she was just casually looking for something. 

Then again, she didn’t seem like someone who would just ignore someone who was having trouble breathing. 

She pulled out a water bottle, uncapped it, and carefully placed it into Kei’s hands. 

“Drink up! It should help!” She was motioning for him to drink it like an insane person. Her eyes were wide out of worry and it was obvious she just wanted Kei to be okay. 

_‘Why do people suddenly care for me'_

He brought the water to his dry lips and when he felt the coldness pass through his throat he felt somewhat better, but the jitteriness didn’t go away. His hands were still shaking pretty bad. 

He finished the bottle relatively quick and handed it back to the female even if it was just an empty plastic bottle. 

“Now breathe.” Suddenly his hand was being taken and the back of his palm was being rubbed softly by the stranger. 

She had the same aura of reassurance that Miss Yachi carried. Even had the same blonde hair, though this girl seemed more lively because of her younger age. 

Kei stopped thinking about how she seemed to be like his boss and cleared his mind, closing his eyes and concentrating on breathing and the comfortable rubbing that he was receiving on his hand. 

It seemed like an eternity could’ve passed that he couldn’t breathe, but it really was only 2 more minutes before he was back on track and okay. 

“You’re okay now?” 

“I’m fine.” 

And he was going back into the building. 

No thank you, nothing and at that he expected the female to run over to him and demand some kind of thanks, but it was quite the opposite actually. 

He walked back into the building, sat down again as he did still have 10 more minutes until his official shift began and the stranger didn’t bug him after, instead she talked to his boss. 

And, Kei just happened to overhear. 

“So, Auntie do you think you can come over for dinner this weekend? Invitation from me!” 

**Auntie.**

An image ran through Kei’s mind, of when he was talking to Tadashi earlier that day. 

_“She’s my friends Aunt, but I’ve been visiting the store longer than I’ve known my friend.”_

Had Tadashi told her about him? 

Probably only helped me because Yamaguchi told her about me.

He put all of his things into his school bag.

No work done whatsoever, but oh well. He had time at home before his mom got home from work and made dinner. 

“I’m going to start working Miss.” 

She looked at Kei worriedly, just the way her niece had. 

“Are you sure you’re okay to work today?” 

“I’m fine.” 

And then he went to go organize some books which were thrown around by customers, not bothering to look over the short blonde and take in the fact that she possibly already knew who he was because of Yamaguchi. 

He felt a vibrate in his hoodie pocket and he realized that he had completely forgotten about talking to Asami. 

_I’m good! Things will never be the same without my Tsukki though!_  
_How are you? I do worry about you sometimes Kei._

Cue the eyeroll. 

Yes, Asami couldn’t see but that didn’t matter. 

Everyone was worried about him and that bugged him. Kei just wanted him to live their lives without having to worry about him like he’s still a child. 

_I’m perfectly fine, no need to worry about me._

Lies. 

He just had an anxiety attack for crying out loud. 

“Shouldn’t you be working Mister!” That same small voice rang in his ears. 

Her tone wasn’t really strict, but it had a joking tone to it and when he looked over at her she was smiling and bouncing ever so slightly on the balls of her feet. She wasn’t serious at all. 

“I do believe that you aren’t my boss.”

She laughed. 

The girl actually laughed at a snarky remark like that. 

“You’re Tsukki right?” There it was. The question that Kei did not want to hear from her. 

He was absolutely tired of people asking who he was. 

Yamaguchi was enough and now he had another ball of sunshine on his shoulder and to add this ball was the best friend of the other. What were the odds.

“Yes. I’m going to take a guess and say Yamaguchi told you.” And he was back to work because eye contact just wasn’t his thing. If there was anything Kei hated other than talking to people it was definitely eye contact. 

It was so awkward and god awful. Who wants to look at another human being straight in the eyes only to talk and make things awkward?  
Definitely not Tsukishima Kei. 

“yup, he seemed very excited to meet you. Said that you were quiet and interesting in his eyes, could become someone really important to him.” 

_‘What is he doing spreading false information?’_

“Please let him know that I don’t intend on becoming his friend.” 

Another bubbly laugh came out of the female, like she was filled with happiness and butterflies. 

_‘How can people be this happy all the time?’_

“You are interesting in your own ways. I’m Yachi Hitoka by the way, very nice to meet you Tsukishima.” Hitoka bowed politely as if Kei was a king. 

A ruler of his own kingdom.

That made Kei want to laugh because that kingdom would go down in flames all too quick if he was the ruler. 

“Tsukishima Kei. Now if you two will, I don’t like being observed like some animal in a zoo so please just leave me be.” 

She brought up a hand to her forehead, puffed out her chest and stood seriously, like a soldier “Got it sir!” And she left with no other words. 

_‘Weird..’_

That was one word to describe his day so far. 

Luckily the rest of his time at work was pretty normal and no more unexpected anxiety attacks when someone had gone up to him to ask a question. 

Soon he was able to go back home and he did. Kei grabbed his bag and was off, hoping that he wouldn’t run into the freckled male out of so called coincidence. 

Maybe he was secretly following him? Or maybe Kei’s mind was just going into extremes.

* * *

 

“How was your day Kei?” 

Safe and sound. 

That’s how Kei felt once he was enveloped in the warmth of his home and he found his mother in the kitchen making dinner. 

It felt so nice to be at home after a long and bothersome day. 

“Good I guess. I met some people. Well, they met me.” He didn’t sound too pleased saying this and he was ready for his mother to lecture him about his tone of voice. Kei also decided to leave out the anxiety attack because of course that’d only worry yet _another_ person and then she’d call Akiteru and _another_ person would be worried. 

It was a cycle.

“You should try going somewhere with them. Wouldn’t that be nice?” 

“No.”

 

“Kei. It’s important that you make friends. You’re going to regret not doing so after high school.” She was using her strict motherly tone now instead of her sweet and reassuring one that she usually used. 

“If I hang out with them will you be happy?” 

Then she smiled. 

It was all a trick and one that Kei always fell for because that’s just how much he loved his mother. He only wanted to make her happy. 

“Yes, yes I will.” 

Now he had no choice. He really had to invite at least Yamaguchi to hang out or else his mom would find out that he did nothing to progress and she’d scold him again. 

“Fine.” 

“You know I only love you right? This is for your own good sweetie.” 

Yes, he realized that and he’d rather not progress if it meant talking to people. What if they only ditched him later on? What if he had actually gotten close to them and then _boom_! They left him for good. Then the sadness and emptiness would come back and he’d lock himself in his room again. For months, just feeling lonely and broken. 

_‘That’s all humans do. Break each other.’_

Then he started thinking about Akiteru and how he didn’t deserve anything that happened to him either. 

The Tsukishima family must’ve been cursed. 

Kei had thought about that since he was 12. 

“I’m going to do homework. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” 

“Okay, don’t fall asleep.” 

But that, he did. 

After all he would need the extra hours of rest for the days that were to come. 


	3. The stars and the moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters are still a little short and I haven't introduced too many characters, but hopefully sooner or later I'll get some more stuff in.   
> In the mean time, enjoy!

“You want to hang out? Really!” 

Kei had waited 3 days to finally ask Yamaguchi to go somewhere with him as instructed by his mom. It was like she wanted him to plan a playdate. 

The more he obeyed his mother the more he felt like a little kid again and that felt ridiculous. The fact that his mother literally had to force him to hang out with other kids made him feel so lame. So stupid. What kind of high schooler has their mother force him to ask someone to hang out? 

“Yeah. Anywhere you want I guess and whenever.” 

Yamaguchi’s eyes were lit up like his dream had come true. Did he wish upon a star or something? 

Kei decided not to ask Yachi, only because he could barely handle one of them at one time let alone both. Also, his mom didn’t exactly instruct him to invite both did she? 

_‘Oh well.’_

The blonde began to walk to class even if Yamaguchi was going to stay behind with that stupid smile on his face. 

“Ah! Tsukki wait!” He ran to catch up, laying a hand on Kei’s shoulders. 

Two of his least favorite things were being done. 

His nickname was being said and he was being touched by another human being. 

People seriously did not know what personal space was. 

Yamaguchi on the otherhand was having a great time. Just got invited by Kei to go hang out and he had to perfect place to go and when. It was all perfect.

“The observatory, Saturday.” He announced as other students walked by them, minding their very own business and dealing with whatever they were dealing with. Whether it was undone homework or problems with friends. It was always something.

Kei glanced down at Yamaguchi “Hm?” 

“Our plans. This Saturday at the observatory. It’s not too far from here and I’ve heard from Yachi that it’s really nice.” 

“Okay, that’s fine.” 

Then he kept ‘people watching’ while Yamaguchi talked about volleyball practices or something that Kei just didn’t bother paying attention to. 

He wouldn’t start interacting with the guy until Saturday. 

Now, onto the ‘people watching’ concept. 

Kei called it that because that’s all he did. Watch people. It could’ve been anything. From someone tripping, to some bad flirting, to a normal conversation between two teachers. It was entertaining, like his very own reality tv show except this one didn’t focus on one person or one family. 

This was _real_ reality and that’s what he loved about ‘people watching’. 

Two people really caught his attention though and they seemed to be coming straight to him for some reason. 

This wasn’t supposed to be apart of people watching. The people from the reality show weren’t supposed to approach him. 

He didn’t even know the two who were walking faster and faster as the seconds went by. 

One had bright orange hair and the other just looked angry. An interesting duo indeed. 

“Yamaguchi! You’re needed!” Another ball of sun.

_‘how many more does this school need.'_

Kei had forgotten that he was invisible to other people of course they weren’t approaching him in the first place. 

There was a kid who actually talked to people right next to him. 

“By who!” 

“Us!” 

The next second the poor freckled kid was being dragged away without any consent and Kei certainly wasn’t going to say anything because it just wasn’t his problem.

Kei slipped on his headphones and was walking to class like normal for once. 

Ever since Yamaguchi had decided to join him in walking everywhere and sitting everywhere, he never had a chance to listen to his music anymore but finally someone needed him to go do something and Kei was free to be calm and relaxed.

* * *

 

“Kei, mom said you’re going somewhere with someone?” 

It was his brother over the phone. He always had to call because important moments like this weren’t worth only texting. Well, that’s what Akiteru thought. Kei thought the exact opposite. 

“Yeah, it’s no big deal.” 

“No big deal? Kei, you haven’t hung out with anyone for the fun of it since we moved away and you couldn’t be with Asami anymore!” 

“This is different. I liked Asami. I’m being forced to hang out with this guy.” He argued back in his monotone voice which just made Akiteru laugh over the phone. 

Hearing him laugh made Kei feel better. It just meant that he, just like their mother, was happy again. 

“Don’t say that, I’m sure after today you’ll warm up to him.” 

“Whatever you say. I have to go, we’re meeting up at the train station. You should call more often, mom worries.” 

“I know I know. Have fun Kei.” 

And the call was over. 

Kei had his traveling backpack hungover his shoulder that was filled with water bottles and snacks because there was no way he was going to be paying for the overprized shit they sold there. 

He even brought along a book he’d been reading and a sketchbook just in case. 

“Have fun okay sweetie? Don’t be rude to him.” A kid again.

He just wanted to be treated like his age, but he knew that was almost impossible with his anxiety issues and anger management. 

“Got it.”

The cool wind greeted him sharply as he exited his warm and loving home. The only place that Kei actually felt safe. 

Now, for the first time in years he was going out with someone and not with his brother or his mother. It was with an actual kid from school who actually liked him for some reason and although he was being forced to go it was more progress. 

Kei looked up at the sky, dark clouds covered the bright sun and it looked like maybe it would rain. 

_‘Wow, Yamaguchi surely planned this perfectly.’_

Sarcasm of course, but that was only for Kei to know. 

Yamaguchi was already waiting patiently at the station and just like Hitoka had done back at the book store, he was ever so gently bouncing on the heel of his foot as he blew on his already mitten covered hands. 

He was bundled up finely with a cream colored sweater and a coat layered on top. Kei on the other hand was really only wearing a blue sweater and because his mother insisted that he looked nice, a button up under. The collars peeked out from the blue sweater perfectly. 

“Good afternoon Tsukki!” He smiled. Kei had begun to notice a lot about him. One of these facts being that a small crinkle formed under Tadashi’s eyes when he smiled. 

“Afternoon.” He was going to tell Tadashi to keep his voice down, but then what his mother said had come to mind. 

He couldn’t be rude. 

Tadashi seemed too fragile anyway, so Kei stopped himself and greeted nicely. 

Well, at least what he thought was nice. 

“What’s in the bag?” Tadashi asked as he held out a ticket for the train towards Kei. 

That wasn’t part of the plan. Kei was supposed to pay because he’s the one who had invited Tadashi in the first place. 

He walked along anyway, not bothering with asking why he had decided to pay for the train tickets “Oh, just snacks, some water bottles and money.” 

“Ah, very prepared!” He was walking in front of Kei, pushing pass the crowd that was formed. 

_‘God, I hate trains.’_

Stations were always crowded and awful especially for someone like Kei who hated people and interaction. And add up with the anxiety. 

Everything was blurry in Kei’s eyes and happening so quickly. People rushing to go meet up with someone, going to work, last minute calls. They were all happening at once in that small train station and he didn’t know what to do, so he kept his eyes on the back of Yamaguchi’s head that way he couldn’t lose him. 

The blonde soon began to notice that Tadashi was being tossed around quite a lot because he was weak, so with no thought he put his hands on the males shoulders and pushed pass the crowd much easier as he was directing Tadashi. 

His shoulders seemed to stiffen when Kei laid his hands there, but he didn’t take that into consideration, just kept leading. 

“Why the observatory?” That was something Kei questioned since the plans were first made. It was such a random place to go to. He’d expected to maybe just go somewhere to eat after school, but Tadashi just had different plans overall. 

His shoulders relaxed again when they entered the designated train and were seated. A stranger seemed to be sitting too close to him, but hey, that was the train for anyone really. 

“I just really like the stars and learning about galaxies. I haven’t been to an observatory since I was around eight maybe so I took the chance when you asked.” He held his hands together tightly and stared down at them as if they were the most interesting things in the world. 

_‘He’s also really shy when he wants to be.’_

Another fact to know about Yamaguchi Tadashi. 

“So, you can teach me along the way right? I know nothing about space.” 

He nodded quickly with that smile of his again, his eyes crinkling slightly just like always. 

Kei could grow fond of that smile though he didn’t want to think that he could. It just didn’t sit well with him and not because Tadashi was some bad guy. 

“In exchange I want facts about yourself though.” 

“There’s nothing to know.” 

“There are plenty of things! You can’t tell me that you just listen to music all day.” 

His brown eyes narrowed and he kept a serious face for quite some time “You’re lying. That’s impossible.” The argument, even if simple was very reasonable because someone can’t just spend all their life listening to music. They had to do something else with their lives. 

Kei simply sighed and looked ahead of him, not making any eye contact with the person sitting in the seat across but his eyes wandered around the posters that surrounded the train. 

“Why does my life matter to you anyway?” It came out more like a mumble like most of his sentences did, but Tadashi would have to learn to live with that. 

“That’s how you become friends with someone. Tsukki, I don’t expect deep stuff about you. I just want to know your favorite color, favorite animal and stuff like that.” Tadashi’s eyes were now on his shoes black shoes. 

The train came to a stop and Tadashi stood up, following behind like a guard dog was Kei.

People surprisingly didn’t get too close to the two and it definitely wasn’t because of Tadashi. 

“Green and dinosaurs if that even counts as an animal at this point.” 

Tadashi smiled to himself since Kei couldn’t see. He could tell that just maybe the blonde was warming up to him and every time he answered more questions or said one more extra word than he’d said before it made Tadashi grin with pure happiness. 

“Dinosaurs, really?” He chuckled jokingly just to see what kind of reaction he’d get out of Kei. Maybe, just maybe it’d be something new. 

And surely it was. Kei’s eyebrows furrowed together confused “They were basically the biggest and scariest species millions of years ago. They are pretty amazing if you really research them, so yes, dinosaurs really.” 

Tadashi turned around and started walking backwards just in time to see Kei’s reaction and it was just what he wanted. A new side of him.

Kei clicked his tongue at the roof of his mouth creating a _tsk_ noise. 

“Turn around before you hurt yourself.” 

“Sorry Tsukki!” He turned around and there it was. 

The observatory was huge in size and at the front was ginormous patches of green grass where people just sat and talked, laying blankets down and eating sandwiches or just drinking water. 

It looked so relaxing. 

Tadashi’s pace was becoming faster from the excitement that was building up inside. 

He couldn’t wait to see the inside of the grand building that held what had to be every fact about space. 

Well maybe not _every_ , but still a good amount. 

Kei still followed behind, but didn’t bother speeding up, he’d let Tadashi have his moment of looking around and taking everything in. 

The weird part about the whole thing was that Kei just didn’t expect to be excited about anything because he never cared for facts about space but once they entered the building a new sense came to him. 

Everything looked to fascinating and interesting. 

He wanted to go through everything in the building. Read every plaque, see every model. It was all so mesmerizing and it sucked him in. 

“You ready to walk around Mr. Dinosaur lover.” 

Kei ignored the stupid nickname and nodded. He was as ready as ever to walk around the place, probably more ready than Tadashi was. 

As they walked around Tadashi only explained things that he knew about and just as promised, Kei gave him a simple fact about himself. He really deserved them because the facts were pretty well remembered and thought out. 

At one point, the two of them just walked around in silence and read the small tiles that were placed in front of a photograph of multiple planets. 

It was nice, just the company of someone and the distant noises of other people walking around and also admiring all the models, facts, and even paintings of the galaxy that they lived in. 

“Tsukki can I have water please?” 

He pulled out two water bottles and sat down at a bench, signaling that they needed to take a small break from walking around. 

It was a big building and surely they weren’t going to look at everything in one visit. 

“Maybe next time we can go to a museum and you can tell me about dinosaurs!” Tadashi suggested a little too excitedly, like he was sure that there would be a next time. 

Though, Kei wouldn’t mind a next time. It sounded nice and he was willing to be in another quiet building with Tadashi, seeing him get so excited over tiny things. 

“Maybe.” He shrugged, readjusting his glasses and taking a long sip of his water as a way to stop himself from actually smiling a little bit for the first time in years.  
Kei couldn’t believe that he might’ve been making a friend. 

Yes, he knew how it felt to have one but this was different. He hadn’t made a friend since Asami, if anything all he did was scare people away most of the time. 

“Ooo! Look, they’re having a small movie about stars playing for free! Let’s go.” Tadashi threw his water bottle away and grabbed Kei by the wrist, pulling him before he could begin to react to the small theater that could only fit about 20 to 40 people. 

Lucky for them, they were one of the first to enter so they sat in the middle of the auditorium of course all Tadashi’s choice.

The movie contained stars, the northern lights, and so much more about other galaxies that could be found in the never ending universe. The two males were too into the movie to even glance at each other. Tadashi didn’t even make one of his small noises that he made when he was really fascinated by something, his mouth just gaped open and he sat at the edge of his seat. 

By the end of the movie it was dark out and getting late. 

Kei had 3 missed calls from his mom and Tadashi had about 11 texts. 

They had both completely lost track of time and they took 5 minutes to respond to their mothers, letting them know that they were in fact okay and still at the observatory. 

“Okay we should probably go.” Kei announced as soon as he was off the phone. 

Tadashi nodded in agreement, but his face didn’t exactly say ‘I’m ready to go home.’ 

“It’s dark out, why don’t we look at real stars instead of the ones in the movie. They are out already, so we wouldn’t have to wait.” At that, Kei couldn’t say no so they went to the front of the building where the areas of green grass were now empty and there they found the perfect spot to lay and look at the bright balls of fire. 

The two laid on their backs and let the light from the small stars to illuminate the area. 

They sure were bright, but that wasn’t the only thing that Kei was really concentrated on. 

He glanced over at Tadashi and he’d expected him to look back at him and smile, but that’s not what Kei had received.

Tadashi was too connected with the stars. His eyes widened and his mouth formed into a small smile. 

The brown eyes of his that were always shining bright, were now shining brighter. Just like stars. 

Scratch that out. 

Brighter than the stars.

That’s when Kei realized that Tadashi wasn’t a ball of sunshine. Not even close.

Kei then knew that Tadashi was the stars. Not just one star either. He was every star in the universe. The stars that caused everyone to pay attention. The stars that brought people together. Kei. He knew that he was the boring old moon that no one cared about, that everyone ignored and no one bothered to pay attention to.

“Tsukki look it. The stars bring out the moon a lot. Isn’t it beautiful.” His voice was in a whisper and he didn’t dare look at Kei. His eyes were now on the moon instead of the stars. 

Kei looked up, eyes wide at what he just heard. 

His heart felt like it had swelled up. 

_The stars bring out the moon._

What made Kei so surprised, was that he was right. 

The stars did bring out the moon. 

They brought out the best qualities of the poor unloved moon.

“It really is beautiful.” He had finally responded after so much thought.

Clouds began to surround the moon and the stars a little too quickly and Tadashi immediately hopped up, knowing what was going to happen next. 

“Get up before it starts raining!” He called, holding out his hand. Kei took it and pulled himself up with the very little help of the freckled male 

The rain had already started pouring before they could even get away and instead of trying anymore they just kind of stood in the rain. 

Tadashi laughed slightly at how ridiculous it seemed and Kei actually let himself smile. Just a tiny bit. 

Barely even noticeable to a human eye, but Tadashi seemed to notice easily and he was overjoyed to see that hint of a smile. He showed that with this grin and it wasn’t his normal one either, it was different as if he had succeeded at something. 

“You smiled!” 

“You’re an idiot, now let’s get out of the rain.” 

Tadashi of course did as told, but couldn’t let go of the fact that he had made Tsukishima Kei smile. 

Actually smile. 

It was definitely the stars that brought out the moon in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely getting somewhere with these two (: 
> 
> by the way, thank you all so much for the kudos and nice comments, it means a lot and it's definitely encouraging!


	4. promises can't be kept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !!  
> It's been a while, but lifes been busy and writers block is always a struggle.   
> Luckily, I got inspiration today!  
> Yes, I did change the title of the story from 'our aisle' to 'talk is cheap'   
> I felt that 'talk is cheap' fits a little bit more, but anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Tadashi was the age of 7 when he met the grand Oikawa Tooru, age 10. They didn’t go to the same school, didn’t really like the same things but their mothers were friends and they were neighbors so the friendship was inevitable.

One day, they did find one single thing in common and that happened to be the fact that they both highly believed in aliens and wanted to travel to the moon. The day they found out they both believed in aliens, a promise was made.

They’d travel the galaxy together.

Everyday they’d visit one anothers home to plan out what was going to happen next. How they’d get to space, what they’d do there, what they wanted to tell the aliens.

For months that’s all they did because that’s all that mattered to them.

Then, Tooru started to play volleyball.

He didn’t fully forget about their mission to outer space, but he was slowly abandoning it, making excuses every time Tadashi invited him over.

“Sorry Yamaguchi, I have to practice!”

“Sorry Yamaguchi, me and Iwa-chan have a match today!”

Tadashi felt like he was being replaced not only by volleyball, but by Iwaizumi Hajime.

Someone who was Tooru’s age and actually liked most of the things that he liked doing.

The small freckled male threw away all of their plans one day because he decided that Oikawa Tooru was just over it. He wanted to live without seeing the galaxy and communicating with aliens.

After that Tadashi rarely saw Tooru.

The visits became a once a month thing rather than daily or weekly visits.

By the time Tadashi was 10 Tooru might as well could’ve forgotten about him because the only exchange that they ever shared was a wave hello when they saw each other at their front lawns and usually Tooru was in his volleyball uniform, ready for a game.

The last time Tadashi had talked to Tooru was at a game, just months before he met Kei.

It was in the bathroom, after Aoba Johsai had beaten Karasuno and it was all Tadashi’s fault.

Tooru walked in and there was the small freckled male who was enthusiastic about everything when they were little now crying over a faucet and mumbling things to himself to make himself feel better. At least that’s what it seemed like.

He grinned to himself as he approached warily.

“You should quit Tadashi. Admit it, volleyball just isn’t your thing. You only joined because you wanted to get close to me again.”

Tadashi looked through the mirror just to find that familiar chocolate brown eyes were staring at him.

The eyes that were once reassuring and made Tadashi happy now made him sick to his stomach. Made him want to throw up over a toilet from nerves.

“This has nothing to do with you Oikawa.”

But it did.

Tadashi only ever wanted to impress Oikawa Tooru, but that never happened.

“You were twelve when you came up to me, begging to teach you basics so you could join a team yourself. Why would you join a sport? You hated them as a kid? We barely talked and I was best friends with Iwa-chan. I began to abandon him more to teach you. Therefore you joined a team so I could teach you more and leave poor Iwa-chan out. It didn’t work though.”

That was true.

Tadashi just wanted Tooru back. Just wanted to talk about space again and visit the small local observatory that the visited every summer.

That wasn’t going to happen.

“You abandoned me for years! Iwaizumi could live a couple weeks without you!”

That’s all Tadashi wanted to say since he was twelve and finally he got to say it. He wasn’t expecting a positive reaction, but he felt 10 times better than he did before.

“My dear Yamaguchi. You’re so pathetic.”

* * *

 

Those were the words that were ringing in his ears right at that very moment at the observatory when him and Kei finally got out of the rain.

They were on a path back to the train and who happened to run into them?

“Ah, Yamaguchi how nice to see you!”

Tadashi hated the sickly sweet tone he used on him. It was the same one he used in the bathroom the day of the volleyball game.

Kei was confused and just stood there, his eyes boring into Tooru, examining like he always did with everyone.

“We see each other almost every day.” Before and after volleyball practices to be specific but Tadashi didn’t bother going into detail, he’d rather not do that.

“But it’s been a while since we’ve talked, hasn’t it?” Tadashi had this look on him. It was nothing like him. He looked like he wanted to kill the pretty boy in front of him and that surely surprised Kei.

_‘Since when did he have enemies?’_

“Yeah because I’m too pathetic to talk to someone like you.”

“Whoever said that my dearest?”

Tadashi wanted to grab at his own hair from frustration. Wanted to bang his head on a table. He could gain a concussion for all he cared, as long as he didn’t have to see Tooru ever again.

“Let’s go Tsukki.” He grabbed for Kei’s hand, dragging him away causing him to trip slightly on his own feet before he could regain his balance and walk on his own two feet.

“Okay lovely, guess I’ll see you later~”

“Oh fuck off Tooru!”

That was definitely a completely new side of Yamaguchi Tadashi. Who knew that someone as innocent looking as him could be so rude?

Kei didn’t know. He’d thought that he was just this small innocent teenager who wanted to make friends, but everyone had their bad side and that just happened to be Tadashi’s.

The blonde didn’t question what just happened because the other just looked overall pissed, like he didn’t want to talk about it and keep going on with life as if that didn’t happen so he just let it be and the way back home was filled with silence.

Not exactly awkward, but not exactly nice either.

It was when they reached Kei’s small home that Tadashi spoke up.

This time he didn’t sound pissed off and his face had that softness to it again that it just couldn’t hold when around Tooru.

“I’m sorry for ruining the night.. I shouldn’t have let him get to me and if I didn’t our walk home would’ve been much better.”

“It’s fine. Either way I’m sure we both had a good time before whoever bothered you, showed up. That’s all that matters.”

Tadashi couldn’t take that as a response because he knew that he ruined their night, but he didn’t argue or anything. Wouldn’t want to make things any worse, so he smiled.

“Yeah definitely.”

Kei grabbed the keys to his house and was about to voice out a ‘goodbye. I’ll see you Monday’ but Tadashi interfered.

He was holding his hands tightly that his knuckled became white and he seemed all too squirmy.

Believe it or not, Kei enjoyed the sight a tad bit. It meant that Tadashi was pretty much back to his nervous and overjoyed self.

“I’d like to talk to you some more, do you think that maybe we could exchange numbers?”

Kei was iffy with giving out his number just like he was iffy about talking to people, but Tadashi passed one of the tests so maybe he’d pass the next.

“Sure.”

And then it was done. Numbers were exchanged and Kei was inside his home where his mom seemed to be waiting at the kitchen table, her head rested on her arm fast asleep.

The blonde shook his head and picked up his mom carrying her to her room.

She woke up when her son laid her down on the bed and tucked her in as if she was the child.

“How’d it go sweetie?”

“Good. He’s nice. I think I may give him a chance.”

“That’s great.” She smiled warmly, turned over in the bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

Kei then slugged over to his room, not bothering to change into his pajamas and jumped onto his bed. No blanket over him or anything.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a message flash onto his phone. It was a number he didn’t recognize, so it meant that it had to be Tadashi.

_I had a great time, thanks for inviting me. I hope next time we can go see the dinosaurs!_

* * *

 

Kei had planned on sleeping soundly the night before, but his house was cold, he was still in his clothes from the observatory, and he didn’t even bother to wrap the blanket over himself out of laziness.

Unfortunately he wasn’t allowed to sleep in because he had work starting at 8 am, so when he was at the shop by 8:30 he was pretty much dead.

“Morning Miss.” He waved, grabbed his lanyard that showed he worked there and grabbed the stack of books that were waiting to be put in their rightful place.

“Are you okay Kei, you look very tired!” She had called quite concerned from the front counter.

She sounded more concern than his mom just thirty minutes ago. Instead of asking how he slept or if he was okay, she asked about the night before and what they did.

His mom was exactly like a teenage girl as she asked for every single detail that happened and Kei gave her every detail. Excluding the Tooru guy of course. His mom would’ve flipped a bit and demanded to know every detail about the guy.

Just the thought made Kei roll his eyes.

"Yeah I'm fi-"

“Oh, it’s Mr. Glasses!”

_'Oh more nicknames great. Exactly what I need.'_

“It’s Tsukishima.” Maybe it was because Tadashi didn’t like it or maybe it was just the bad vibe that he felt from the pretty boy, but it caused Kei to glare at him as he turned around.

Tooru just waved it off which didn’t bother Kei. He’d rather less people know his name than more “Whatever. So, you know Yamaguchi Tadashi?”

“Oh no. I just met him at the observatory and a stranger walked me home and then I murdered him.”

“Someone’s a sarcastic asshole.”

“It’s my specialty thank you.”

Kei could go on with the sarcasm and rude remarks, but decided to stop. The faster the conversation was over the quicker Tooru would leave him alone to whine to himself about how tired and cold he was.

“How’d you even find me?”

Oikawa shrugged “It really was only a coincidence. Came to pick up a book for my little sister because she has some kind of project to work on. Thought I’d-“

“Annoy me?”

“Ask about Tadashi.” He finished ignoring the quite rude interruption that Kei pulled off even after promising himself that he’d stop.

_‘Promises just can’t be kept sometimes’_

“I barely met the guy. Who even are you to him? He seemed pretty mad when he saw you last night.” Kei didn’t feel right asking the person that Tadashi seemed to despise about some backstory that should be told by himself. It was wrong to do that, but Kei’s curiousity got to him. Hard.

“Old friend, neighbor, experiment, you name it. We’ve been through a lot and I don’t think I should be the one telling you these things.” He had that grin of his on, like he was keeping a secret that Kei would like to know. It was a way to tempt him to ask for more. A temptation to ruin a maybe newfound friendship.

_‘Experiment? What the hell does that mean?’_

The word didn’t sit well with Kei and the way that Tooru said it just made things worse.

“Go look for your book.” He set a book in the ‘R’ section then began to leave the aisle.

He thought that maybe once, he’d get good luck. Maybe just this once, but the gods decided to fuck with him instead and there was a warm and hard feeling on Kei’s wrist causing a couple of the fresh books to fall onto the carpeted floor.

“You’re not good for him. Just leave now before you mess up his life even more.”

Kei pulled his wrist away, grabbed the couple of books on the floor and walked away, nonchalantly muttering a “Now I know why he hates you.”

After ten minutes the pretty boy had luckily left the shop with whatever he had went for and Kei was left frustrated and confused with what the hell Tooru had said before.

What was ‘experiment’ even supposed to mean?

Kei slipped his phone out of his pocket after he took twenty minutes managing the books.

His last text to Asami still sat there. She never responded.

_Sorry to bother.. This is kind of a random question and I have no one else to ask and no one else to go to except Akiteru, but he’d butt into my life like no tomorrow. If someone says they were someone’s experiment, what do you think that’d mean?_

The question was embarrassing to ask, but if he didn’t ask soon well then more anxiety would occur and Kei was trying to decrease those awful things.

While on his small break Kei decided to respond to Tadashi. Yeah it was a couple 12 hours late, but it was a response and a conversation starter so it didn't matter.

_'I had a great time too, but I'm sure our visit to the dinosaurs will be much more interesting then some lame stars.'_

"Sweetie, I'm gonna go grab some coffee for myself really quickly okay? I'll bring you something." Kei only nodded and gladly sat down at the front counter of the bookstore. It was a longer break then expected, but nice and relaxing from all the things that crossed his mind out of no where.

Two messages popped up on his screen and one of them made his stomach turn from nerves.

_My mind immediately goes to robots, why?_

So, Asami was definitely very little help to him and the anxiety that wasn't going anywhere.

The other message was from Tadashi.

_Stars aren't lame! :(_

At that, Kei had to admit that Tadashi was right. They weren't at all lame and they were the most interesting things that Kei could think about.

He texted the both of them back.

To asami, an explanation and to Tadashi some nonsense to keep their conversation going some more.

There was and immediate buzz and the message was from Asami. It didn't help but it made Kei feel even worse about what Tooru had said earlier.

_Sorry Kei, I don't think I should be the one telling you what I think because if I'm right well... I don't know, you should ask the person who told you in the first place._

Kei didn't plan on talking to Tooru again anytime soon, that was just out of question. He had an annoying vibe to him that he couldn't stand, but then again 99% of humans did annoy Tsukishima Kei.

Tadashi also wasn't much of an option because they'd just started talking and Kei wasn't going to risk the chance of, he wouldn't say losing a friend because they sure as hell weren't friends yet in his book, but he didn't want to risk the chance of something that could be big for his anxiety. Something that could help him move on from his struggles.

Nobody was an option because Kei didn't have the resources to go to.

The small bell that had rung every time a customer strolled in suddenly chimed that small, sometimes annoying chime which caused Kei to jump out of surprise. He'd hoped it wasn't Tadashi or any of his friends. That's the least Kei wanted at the moment.

Luckily enough it was only the misses with the two freshly brewed cups of coffee.

the rest of Kei's day was spent sipping his coffee nervously until the cup was done and then setting up new books, like he did every single day that he worked. Being nervous gave him the anxiety he didn't want and at one point during his working hours he locked himself in the small bathroom they had at the back of the store.

He hated being involved in peoples lives and anxiety was one of the main reasons he decided to never make any friends, but Yamaguchi Tadashi ruined that for him.

While Kei was busy being a nervous wreck and just wanting to go home and sleep, Tadashi was anxious and couldn't sit still.

Tooru was speaking to him again, sending texts every five minutes and the chats weren't the rude ones they typically shared in the past years that Tadashi hated him. They were nice and made Tadashi smile due to the fact that it reminded him of old times, but he knew that something wasn't okay either.

Tooru would never _Just_ start talking to him out of no where. Something was up and honestly, it was probably the fact that Tadashi was so close to becoming Kei's friend. It was as if Tooru was his guardian, telling him what or what not to do and although the freckled male was so glad to maybe be back in normal contact with the pretty boy, it still made him extremely mad that it was only because he was probably going to tell Tadashi not to hang out with Kei.

"Yamaguchi, you've been texting the whole time! I thought we were gonna study! You have to pass your next exam if you want to go to training camp."

Tadashi placed his phone on the small table and smiled at Yachi, his usual kind smile. He was a bit squirmy in his seat though, so of course Yachi wasn't taking that smile for some kind of nice answer.

"Is it Tsukki? What is he saying!" The excitement in her voice made Tadashi want to shrink. He'd been ignoring Kei's text because he was busy talking to Tooru and he didn't know how to respond to Kei.

Yachi knew what Mr. pretty boy had done to her best friend, so if she were to find out that he'd been talking to Tooru there would be a lecture, so Tadashi's only choice was to lie and that was his least favorite choice because his mom's voice echoed in his mind whenever he lied. Whether little or small.

_'Tadashi, always remember to never lie when you're older okay? It causes issues and I don't want you to go through the same thing mommy did.'_

"Yeah it's him, we're just talking about what we might do next time we go out somewhere." Yachi clapped her hands together before Tadashi even finished what he'd been saying.

"Do you like him?"

His freckles became clearer to see as his face became tinted a light shade of pink and that only made Yachi become more and more excited "You do, you do!"

"Well, ever since I was little someone told me a lot about him and now that I've met him it's just nice.. I don't like him in a romantic way Yachi!"

"Oh yeah, your distant relative told you about him? I remember you told me once. Her name was.. A- Asa..."

"It's Asami. Yeah, when she was younger she told me about how he actually smiled and how he was so fascinated with dinosaurs. The smiling thing is rare, but fascination with dinosaurs, that's still there."

Tadashi was the age of 9 when he first heard of Tsukishima Kei from his cousin and ever since then he wanted to meet the blonde

"Don't you think you should tell him that you know his best friend?"

Tadashi shook his head immediately. He'd seem like a stalker and that was the least he wanted. Tadashi was just easily fascinate by people, especially when he was younger.

"I will one day, but not now."

and then his phone lit up.

_Meet me in our old hide out in 30 minutes._

Tadashi tried not to smile, tried so hard not to and lucky for him he did it and he was about to tell yet another lie.

"Yachi, I'm really not feeling well can we study another time?"

This time he ignored the echoing of his moms voice. He let it go for once in his life and lied without hesitation. He lied perfectly too because the blonde female looked so worried.

"Ah, Okay.. just let your mom know and don't get sick before training camp or the exam."

Tadashi held up two thumbs up and she gathered all of her things.

Within five minutes she was gone and Tadashi was pulling on a hoodie.

_On my way_

When he passed the kitchen his sweet mother stopped him abruptly "Sweetie, Yachi told me you weren't feeling well. Why don't you lay down?"

"Actually I was gonna go buy myself some medicine, I'll be safe I swear."

"You sure? I can go if you want." His mother sounded so sincere and worried, using that motherly tone of hers.

"No, I'll go!"

The third lie that day and this one was to the women whom he promised that he'd never lie.

Promises really can't be kept after all.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a large absence! I got hit with writers block and would constantly pull up this document, but could not get out a single word, finally I was able to muster a short chapter at least.  
> Summer is here, so updates will hopefully become for consistent!
> 
> brief shipping warning!!!  
> Yes, there is Oiyama (Oikawa x Yamaguchi) in this chapter. It's for the sake of the way this fanfiction is going, so please just bare with me.

It was dark, windy, and just god awful.

Tadashi was wandering the very small woods that was located right near where he and Tooru lived. When they were little, being curious children they wandered one day and it wasn't located too deep in the woods that it scared the two, but it was in the perfect area.

An old and abandoned treehouse.

Tooru found it and immediately fell in love with the idea of an old treehouse in the middle of the woods being their own secret hideout. Of course Tadashi agreed to making the old and creaky thing their hideout because he did anything Tooru did.

Tadashi slowly made his way closer to where he remembered the treehouse was at, but honestly he wasn't so sure where it was located any more. It'd been years since he visited the creepy yet memorable site. He never thought he'd go back there ever again, but there he was, looking for Tooru in the dark.

"Ah, you actually came!" Tadashi let out a squeak at the sudden voice. His mind was thinking that maybe the treehouse was still a couple feet ahead.

Tooru turned on his flashlight, flashing it on the cold and shivering freckled male.

Tadashi regretted going. As soon as he saw the silhouette of Oikawa, all the negative thoughts rushed over him.

_What am I doing? It's a school night, it's cold, and tooru just isn't worth it._

"You look cold, need another sweater?"

He sounded so sincere, so friendly. Tadashi was just getting lured in even more than he already had with the exchanged texts just thirty minutes ago.

"U-uh.. No thanks."

Tooru approached either way and wrapped his arm around Tadashi's shoulder, pulling him close to produce body heat. To make the shivering Chihuahua not shiver all that much.

Tadashi melted when he felt how warm Tooru was and that was only a side hug.

He wrapped both arms around the taller and older males waist, wanting to take all the warmth from him. The feeling was pleasant and nostalgic, both in a good and bad way.

There were just some things that Tadashi never wanted to think about ever again.

"Why don't we go up in the treehouse, have a little sleepover?"

"Sounds nice."

Tadashi's mind was hazy, he was tired. Just wanted to take a nap covered in warmth and right now his only sources were the treehouse and Tooru.

"I brought a sleeping bag so don't worry about being cold in the middle of the night."

Tadashi didn't respond, but instead lazily followed Tooru up into the tree house, everything he told his mom forgotten at that point and his phone had low battery so messages and calls would barely be received.

The sleeping bag was already laid out and ready. The treehouse was also surprisingly clean.

Tooru helped Tadashi into the bag and then let himself into the small, packed sleeping bag as well.

He had no plan. He just needed some kind of form on human interaction and Tadashi was such an easy target. Iwaizumi was ignoring him, so that was a no go.

"Why'd you invite me here after being so mean to me for so long?"

Tooru froze, becoming immediately stiff. Tadashi noticed the sudden stiffness and all that relaxation and haziness that had taken over him was gone. Something was up. Tooru didn't care for him, it was evident to basically the whole world, but Tadashi wanted to have just a tiny bit of hope.  
  
"You're using me like last time, aren't you?"

'Last time' Wasn't exactly the best of times. It had been before the prelims, Tooru contacted him saying that he wished he could go back in time to be with Tadashi all the time instead of abandoning him. The real case was just as this one, Hajime was so mad at Tooru and all he wanted was physical contact. Warmth. Some sort of lovely feeling and the only other person who could provide that was Tadashi.

"No, never. That was a mistake."

His arm snaked around Tadashi's waist, pulling him incredibly close to him, their noses touching. It was Tadashi's turn to freeze then.

He squirmed for a bit, trying to escape the pretty boys' grip, but that wouldn't be too possible. Anyway, he was warmer with Tooru holding him like that.

"You're awful Oikawa."

"Then why continue coming back to me when I ask you to?"

Why did Tooru have to be so luring? If only Tadashi never fell for it.

"Because I still have some hope."

"Good."

There was warmth coursing through Tadashi's body and the source was Tooru's lips on his.

Tadashi didn't stop the kiss, didn't even flinch when their lips met. He knew it was bound to happen and he wasn't going to try to stop it.

"Goodnight Tadashi."

Tadashi wouldn't sleep for another hour and a half, still in Tooru's arms. He relaxed so it would seem like he was asleep, but his mind was racing and he didn't know what to do.

It hit him. His phone was dead. He lied to his mother about where he was going and he was in a sleeping bag with Oikawa Tooru in the middle of abandoned woods.

What made his heart twist into a knot was the thought of Kei.

Soon, all of his thought became a blob in his mind. Sleepiness took over and he became limp in Tooru's arms.

 

* * *

  
"Yamaguchi Tadashi, where were you last night! You could've called me, texted, anything! I stayed up all night waiting for you to come home, almost called the cops!"

Tadashi had woken up just on time for school. The sleeping bag was empty when he had woken and he was left with only a note that said:

_I'm sorry, I couldn't be late to school. Have a good day Yamaguchi!_

_-Oikawa Tooru_

And, he had gone home to find his mother on the couch, bags under her eyes and there she was yelling at him with tears in her eyes.

When Tadashi didn't respond she pulled him into a hug and cried, like any mother would if their child didn't show up from the store like he said he was going to go.

"I'm sorry mom... I had run into Oikawa and well, he thought it'd be nice if I stayed over his home. My phone was dead so I couldn't contact you and because I was so tired, I went straight to sleep."

Tadashi began to cry.

Partly because his mom was crying and partly because he'd been lying to her so much lately, all because of Oikawa Tooru. The guy he'd kissed the night before out of pure tiredness. The guy who just loved to make him miserable.

"I'm just glad that you're okay. I'll make breakfast, okay? Go get ready for school."

She pulled back from the hug and gave him the soft motherly look that patched up the hole that was left in his heart.

"Okay."

He left his phone to charge as soon as he reached his room and ignored the buzzing that had come along after it turned on again. Missed calls and messages from his mother, that was already established.

He slowly slipped on his uniform, looked at himself in the mirror and tried to genuinely smile. He couldn't be unhappy in front of Kei or Yachi. In fact Tadashi couldn't act very unhappy in front of the whole volleyball team.

His smile became forced for the first time in a while.

It didn't look forced though. Well, that was Tadashi's opinion.

He grabbed his phone, stuffed it in his pocket and went down to eat breakfast with his mother who still didn't look all too thrilled. There was still a hint of worry on her face. She actually thought that her son had been kidnapped or killed, so of course she was still in a state of shock.

"Mom, I'm sorry.."

"Sweetie, stop apologizing. It's okay."

Tadashi wasn't apologizing for not getting home on time at that time. He was apologizing for the lies she didn't know were being told. He was apologizing for being such a troublesome son.

Kei was already halfway to the school when Tadashi was running out of his small home, trying to catch up to the blonde.

His bag was slipping from time to time, but Tadashi kept running until he saw the short blonde hair in the distance "Tsukki!" He called with that fake smile of his that had taken over what used to be so genuine

The smile stopped being fake when Kei turned around and stopped in his tracks, waiting for Tadashi to catch up.

It was funny how one person who was always so emotionless and monotone could make someone smile with just one oblivious stare.

"I waited for you for a while, but you took too long." Kei let his headphones slip down to his neck, his music could be heard very faintly, but he turned off his phone as soon as they passed the school gate.

"Sorry, I slept in!"

"It happens."

The day went by quicker than expected and Tadashi didn't have any trouble. Yeah, he was still telling Yachi complete lies about not being able to sleep the night before due to a high fever, but that was about it.

Tadashi couldn't afford to lose concentration during practice, so everything slipped his mind as he made his way to the gym with Yachi and Kei was still walking with them.

"Bye, I'll see you two tomorrow."

The tall blonde was going to turn and head home. It was one of his only days off work, so he'd be doing nothing but homework at home. His brother would probably ask him to play volleyball with him, but that was a no go. 

Tadashi got ahold of Kei's wrist before he could take another step, "Ah, we're having a practice match today. I'm not entirely sure with who, but it should be fun. You should come!" His voice was quiet and filled with nerves, but that was okay because Kei never seemed to mind that Tadashi wasn't very confident. He was also very oblivious to Tadashi's feelings so that slightly made the freckled male feel better. 

Kei was going to make an excuse, say that he had a lot of homework or had a test to study for, but Tadashi and Yachi were in literally in his class. They knew the exact amount of homework that Kei had and whether he had a test the next day or not. 

"Okay." 

Tadashi let go of his friends wrist. He silently made his way to the gym rethinking what he had just done. Did he really have to gab Kei's wrist to get his attention?

On the other hand, Yachi was too busy smiling to herself as if she was a proud mother watching her son obtain a new friend. Though in that case, it was watching her best friend slowly start liking his new friend more and more as the days went by. 

Upon reaching the gym, Tadashi could already hear all of his teammates being the crazy people they were. Nonetheless both Tadashi and Yachi loved every single member very much, they were like a mini family. 

Tadashi opened the doors to the gym and it turned out that the visiting team was already prepared for the practice match that had been planned since a week before. A familiar voice reached Kei and Tadashi's ears. They both stopped in their steps while Yachi kept on walking, not even realizing that the two had stopped. 

"Iwa-chan, look it's Yamaguchi!"

Tadashi seriously had begun to think that life hated his guts. Life was just playing a sad game with him for the hell of it.

Kei was actually thinking about leaving the gym when he saw Tooru approach either the both of them or only Tadashi, but he realized that e couldn't just do that. He told Tadashi he'd watch the game and really he had nothing else to do at him, so he was going to stay to watch the game.

"I'm so sorry that I left you alone this morning, it was getting late." He wrapped his arm around Tadashi and there was that warm feeling again. That warmth That Tadashi always craved and tried to ignore every single time. He was not planning on giving in front of his teammates, best friend, and new friend. He pushed the male away after much hesitation and looked down at his school shoes. He could feel his breathing become less consistent. Tooru had to bring up the night before at that moment. He just had to.

Tooru did not say what he had said quietly. It was in earshot to most people who were around the two, including Kei and Yachi.

Yachi was utterly confused. Her best friend was sick in bed, not with Oikawa Tooru. Kei wasn't so oblivious to what was happening between Tadashi and Tooru.

"Oikawa leave him alone!" It was demand from Iwaizumi and Tooru listened like a dog.

"Yamaguchi, what was he talking about? You were sick, why did he say he was with you last night?" Yachi knew that Tadashi never lied. He could never tell a lie in his life. 

All Tadashi could hear were the squeaks of shoes on the shiny gym floor and muffled playful yelling from both Seijou and Karasuno.

Tadashi simply shook his head, pulled on a smile and walked to the locker room where he could be left alone for the time being. Where Yachi couldn't enter and ask questions.

Oh, how life loved playing games with Yamaguchi Tadashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real question is, will Kei react?   
> Not even I know!  
> Thanks for reading :)


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